Yep, that’s me, a loser. A recent Iggy-fueled post inspired me to re-examine my play. He mentioned something about bloggers being better able to improve because they are honest about their play when they blog.

Actually, there’s not much play to examine. I haven’t set up any slothoki internet at home yet. I think I’ll buy a computer this weekend, and get started down that road. But I digress…

This is about my play. And right now, it’s not real good.

I’m not playing to win.

Does that sound stupid?

I don’t think I’m the only one. Poker is fun. I love playing. I love winning, but at that limits I’m playing, or the tourney entry fees I’m paying, I don’t have that fear of losing.

Does that make sense?

Recently, I’ve played the Omaha HiLo tourneys. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve finished in the money a couple times. I also finished in the money in the first PJK tourney I played in. That’s money I’ve won.

In the grand scheme, however, I’ve lost about $50 since depositing at Planet Poker.

In fact, last night, I played in a $5 Stud HiLo tourney. Stud!?!? Are you kidding me!?!? I might as well have eaten a five dollar bill. I hate 7-card stud. I think it’s a terrible poker game (mainly because I suck at it). I don’t know how to play stud poker well. I haven’t learned how to play NLHE really well, and I’ve been playing that regularly for more than a year.

Needless to say, I finished nowhere near the money. I did get about 2 hours of enjoyment out of playing, but winning cash was never a possibility.

That brings me to a larger point. In the 5 weeks I’ve been playing poker at Planet Poker, I’ve lost $50. That’s about $10 a week. If I were going to the movies each week, I’d spend at least that much, if not more. Hell, even two Blockbuster rentals are close to ten bucks. And the bar scene? How much can you really drink for $10.

Am I rationalizing now? I think I’m an okay NLHE player. I think I could be really good if I spent the time. I think I could play limit hold ’em pretty well, too. But I’m torn.

I feel the itch to grind and learn, but I worry that I don’t really have the patience. That lack of patience costs me money. I’ll start a tourney and play smart and patient for awhile, building an above average stack, but then I’ll get dumb and bored and go all-in with Q-10o. That’s no way to play poker.

So where does that leave me? I think I’m going to take a couple hundred buck this weekend and head to a live poker room. There are a number of casinos within driving distance and I’m determined to find one. I’ll have a write-up when I get back.